Der Anfang

Hello, readers old and new.

To those of you who already know me, this will probably come as a big surprise. I bet you did not expect me to get back to such an anachronistic format as the personal blog is, but here I am... once again. I'm here and I'm going to keep writing, because that's what I do... or at least a big part of it. And even if the big-data-oriented Internet 2.0 doesn't favour this form of expression, I'm going to keep on doing it. 'Cause that's what I fucking do. 

The intrusive big data collectors we've come to know as 'social networks' are not going to last forever. Art is. In every possible form.

I've kept myself away from writing - REALLY writing - for more than two years now, and the reason for that - aside from the changing internet demographics - is that I've been dealing with depression. That's right, my old friends. You might not have noticed that, if you've been reading my tweets, because that's what we all do in twitter: we smile and we pretend to be moderately satisfied, because that's the way Mother Google wants us to feel. But not anymore. 

I'm so tired of not being able to express myself as the person I REALLY am, I just can't take it anymore.

I'm tired of being tired.

I'm bored of being bored.

I'm sick of being sick.

So yes, I've been depressed for the last three years - more depressed than I ever thought I could be -, for so many reasons I can't even begin to explain them here... but don't worry - you'll find out, eventually. During these dark years, I've seen all the things I believe in shattered. I've seen all my hopes destroyed. I've seen the people I love and admire being slowly deprived from everything they were, stripped from every little bit of human dignity they had left, forced to go through the most humiliating experiences I could ever have imagined, confined to the most miserable forms of existence; robbed, enslaved and outraged; reduced to a sad ghostly projection of the people they used to be... and my own spirit slowly dying with theirs. I've seen the light of my world extinguished. I've lost my faith in freedom, my faith in humanity, my faith in life.

But here I am... still. And I'm not planning to give up anytime soon.

As you might have already noticed, I'm writing in English now. I don't think that matters too much, though. I've always liked twisting languages a lot, and that's definitely not going to change. 

I don't even know how many of you - my loyal old readers - are still left here to care about whatever things I have to say, but we'll find that out along the way. We created great things together. I hope we can do that again.

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To those of you who don't know me yet... I'm sorry - I sort of forgot you were there. It's hard to explain who I am or what this blog is about at this point. The only thing I can tell you is I'm NOT writing about fashion (I have another blog for that). I'm NOT writing about cosmetics. I'm NOT writing about cooking. And I'm definitely NOT writing about lifestyle.

This blog is just me, in my purest form of expression - nothing more, and nothing less -, so be prepared for some potentially explicit content, the occasional swearing - whenever the fuck I feel like it -, polemic themes, unedited raw emotions, lenghty autobiographical tales, scary journeys through the depths of my psyche, exhaustive analysis of the cultural reality, pieces from my everyday life, picutres of beautiful androgynous people, endless love for Germany and the Germans (not all of them LOL), countless Simpsons references, Japan, cats, an insane amount of music, mindblowing absurd and, if my spirit ever gets back to form, even uncontrolled fangirling. We'll leave that one out for now, though.

Welcome to The Deadly Fetishes.

Enjoy it... if you can.