When You're In Prison... pt. II

Just a normal day in the life of the Biebs.

When You're In Prison...

When you're in prison, don't turn the other way
Keep your back against the wall

When you're in prison, don't turn the other way
Do not bend at all

Oh don't pick up the soap, pick up the soap
It's bad for you

Oh don't pick up the soap, pick up the soap
Someone will be waiting there for you

When you're in prison be sure to stay awake
Always lie upon your back

When you're in prison be sure to stay awake
Keep you from attack

Oh don't be no one's bitch, be no one's bitch
It's bad for you

Oh don't be no one's bitch, be no one's bitch
They won't help you make it through

When you're in prison, don't turn the other way
Follow what I say to do

When you're in prison, don't turn the other way
You can make it through
You can make it through
You can make it through

[*]

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WTF are you doing, kid?! What the Hell did they teach you at school?!

Whatever happens in your life, you DON'T pull your pants down in front of a 50-year-old black dude (no racial offense intended - I hate white people too) - especially if he happens to be a producer.

You just don't.

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Speaking about life in prison...

Tomorrow is gonna be a really tough day down at the TH camp. The Ebels Inc. are just about carpet bomb Twitter Land with a massive load of fan fiction, and I'd rather stay covered until the shit storm is over.

Hopefully, I'll be too high on Alice to care about whatever those bastards do to the corpse of my beloved band.

They are never gonna win, anyway... so fuck them and the horse they rode in on :)))))

Hollow pt. II

All of your colours turn to grey

Don't even matter anyway

Bleeding impressions where you were tied

Can't really say how you lost your mind

Hollow as a mountain

All tunneled and drilled below

Hollow as a mountain

Crowned with a cold -

Hollow as a mountain

All tunneled and drilled below

Hollow as a mountain

Crowned with a cold blue sky

Silence

So loud

Silence

I can't tell my up from down

Silence

So loud

Silence

I can't tell my up from down

All of the faces life can show
Withered and ugly, the one you know

...

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–Still trippin' on Alice In Chains?

–What do you think?

–I think it's funny how they interact with your love for the good old TH. I can sense someone's love life is getting increasingly complicated...

–So...? It's not my fault I've finally found another band I can fall madly in love with. They make me forget about my problems. They make me feel more alive than I've felt in ages. They seem clean... and I want to enjoy these moments before I find out they are not.

–...if that ever happens.

–It always happens. Then you learn to deal with it.

–...and find someone new to fall in love with.

–... Fuck you.

*    *    *

...And the strangest part comes when you realize he still has a beautiful face underneath all that shit. 

I can only hope there's some of that left inside as well.

The future depends on it.

Alice In Chains pt. II

Because... yeah.

*    *    *

Try googling 'Alice Cooper chains'. See what happens.

This is my life right now.

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Alice In Chains

How much more literal do you want to get?

*    *   *

I wish Spotify's AI realized what a huge understatement it's making when it tells me: "You've been listening to Alice In Chains." 

Yeah, right...

If Spotify really paid to artists depending on how many plays they get (which I absolutely do not believe), the guys from Alice In Chains could soon be building their very own international airport on my plays alone LMAO

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Anyway, I'm sorry, Spotify - I'm not going to start listening to Jane's Addiction just because of that.

Instead, I'd recommend you my very own cover of... well... In Chains.

Drought When I Die

The sun is still shining on L.A.'s Sunset Strip as Lemmy Kilmister takes his favorite spot at the bar of the Rainbow Bar & Grill. Sipping from a glass, he feeds dollars into a machine to play games of trivia and chance like Clock Teaser, a quiz about women and nature. At 67, the Motörhead frontman looks just as he always has: black cavalry hat with gold insignia, prominent warts and mutton chops, embroidered cowboy boots. But that's Diet Coke in his glass, not Jack Daniel's. And while the jokes roll out easily in his distinctive British rasp, he sounds like a man who's still recovering from a gut punch.

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Lemmy's illness kept him quietly at home as Motörhead's thunderous 21st album, Aftershock, brought in the band's best first-week sales in decades last October. A few months earlier, his friend and onetime songwriting partner Mick Farren had collapsed onstage in London while performing with the Deviants. Farren never regained consciousness. "There are worse places to go," Lemmy says. "It's better than having tubes up your nose. I'd much rather go dressed in my best, trying to reach that last note."

After being forced to cancel the rest of Motörhead's European festival dates last July, Lemmy backtracked and tried to perform for the 85,000 rock fans at the Wacken Open Air concert in Germany. But he had to leave the stage after just a handful of songs. "We only did 38 minutes and I was done," he says. "I was too tired. I had to come off." Adds Motörhead guitarist Phil Campbell, "It reminded us that this mountain of unwavering Lemm is actually a tiny bit mortal like we all are."

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Lemmy says he worries about the future of his beloved rock & roll as his generation eases past middle age into retirement or worse. He sees few younger artists committed enough to the tradition to carry it into the future. "There's nobody now," he says. "There is going to be a huge hole, and nobody to step into it." You can see the concern on his face. "I think it's important music. It's the constant music of this generation and the last one and the last one."

[♠]

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You are not the only one who's worried, Lemm. You are not the only one.

...But how does one keep on existing in a world that seems so willing to erase them? Is it possible for a single man to change the tide of a river just by swimming against it?

I can only hope the answer is YES.

HOLLOW

At this point, I think it's pretty safe to say that I'm obsessed with Alice In Chains.

Surprised? You should be. I am as well.

I never expected this to happen... but the fact is I've been compulsively listening to them since last Thursday, when I first decided to check out their 2013 album The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here - which you might or might not remember for being home to the über-doom-metal lead single Hollow.

Hollow was, in fact, my very first point of contact with the band. I watched the music video when it first came out, following Vevo's recommendation. I had no real reason to succumb to the dictatorship of targeting, but I decided to give it a try, just because I'm always curious to see what modern rock bands are up to. Of course, at that point, I didn't know that Alice In Chains are nowhere near as young as I expected them to be. They are, in fact, almost the age of Metallica (a.k.a. around the age of Marilyn Manson), which probably explains something.

And what happened with Hollow was the same that happened the first time I heard/saw most of the stuff I ended up loving: I didn't like it. I can't say I didn't like it at all - I just dismissed it as some other average prog-metal song in the spirit of Dream Theater or Porcupine Tree... Nothing to be especially impressed about.

Then, there was the issue with the music video. I can't say it's a bad music video, because it's not. In fact, it lives up to the spirit of the song quite well. But it's definitely not the most enjoyable music video to watch. Actually, I found it pretty disturbing (I guess a music video for a song like this IS supposed to  be disturbing LOL). It gave me the same space-claustrophobia I experienced while watching Sunshine back in 2008 (a movie I don't really wish to see again - or perhaps I do now, just because of this song? LOL), and that wasn't a funny association.

But with disgust comes the fascination (or at least sometimes it does), and, good or bad, it was undeniable that their song and video had made a certain impression on me.

A few weeks later, however, I found myself extremely surprised to discover that that strange creepy space thing for prog-metal snobs had managed to get airplay on our local music TV - the one that only plays heavy bands like Metallica when they are promoting Through The Never and AC/DC when they are the soundtrack to Iron Man. My first thoughts were, of course: "WTF?! These guys are getting airplay with the least radio-friendly song of all time?! Somebody must be investing some major money in this thing... And I can't even understand why." I still have no clue of what kind of dark magic was involved in this unexplainable programation choice, but I guess I'll find out, eventually.

My impressions on the song and the video, however, didn't change much since my first Vevo experience. Hearing the music on shitty TV speakers and at moderate volume didn' t help much either... but more on that later.

Eventually, the promo cycle ran its course, Hollow flew off the playlist, and I never thought about it again.

That was until Spotify decided that my music choices were compatible with Alice In Chains' newest album (Targeting! There you are again!) and suggested it to me. I have to admit that the perspective of getting to hear that disturbing song again was strangely attractive, so I hit play.

And there it was, at the head of the tracklist, just as fucking creepy as I remembered it. And there was something cool about it... even though I wouldn't admit it LOL

I sat through a few of the songs that followed... and once again I was unimpressed.

But Spotify kept on insisting, and it creeps me out to admit that, for once, they got it totally right. But, hey, after suggesting me to listen to Adam Lambert and Kansas for months, it was about time for them to get SOMETHING right, wasn't it?

The thing is I finally decided to do things right and solve my issues with Alice In Chains once and for all: grab my headphones and my evaluation notebook and listen to the whole record FOR REAL.

And man, that was one really wise decision to make.

The idea of listening to Hollow with my headphones on was exciting and scary at the same time. 

I only had a few seconds of white noise to prepare before the doomiest riff of all time (with permission of Black Sabbath's self-titled song, of course) stormed in. And, man, was it heavy.

The heaviness of the sound blew me away quite literally. That crystaline production, THAT guitar sound. Holy Jesus Christ.

I didn't feel 'that' thrilled about the strangely ghostly harmonized vocals at first (even though I really love them now LOL), but the overall quality of the production was undeniable since minute zero.

THAT SOUND.

And those lyrics:

Hollow as a mountain

All tunneled and drilled bellow...

The power of that image alone made me shiver. Probably because I had a morbid fascination for tunnels and quarries back when I was a little kid. All the violence involved in the process of making them really creeped me out. Of ourse, I also felt intimidated by the hostility of the mountains themselves, so we can say it's all a pretty long story LOL (yup, I had tons of strange phobias when I was a kid - used to think a bit too much about stuff).

There was something in this song that tickled my deepest subconscious primal fears... And, for some reason, I seemed to enjoy that in a pertty twisted way.

Once it was over, I still was unsure about whether I liked it or not, but one thing was objective (aside from the über-awesomeness of the production and the deliciousness of the guitar work): Hollow definitely WAS a memorable song.

And the sound of the record and I were just about to start a musical love story. That's a very curious phenomenon I've experienced a few times before: liking the sound of a band more than I liked their actual songs. I had a very similar thing with Green Day back in 2004 (with the difference that Alice In Chains kick Green Day's ass into outer space, of course). So, at first listen, I found myself wanting to like the songs on The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here more than I actually did.

Of couse, Dinosaurs is nowhere near being an immediate type of record. It takes some time and patience to get to REALLY enjoy it... but so do most of Metallica's albums, and that doesn't diminish their greatness in the least.

I finished the album with a 5,5 rating (even though I'd give it a 9 if I had to revise it right now - I'll have to do that, eventually) and three essential track picks: the ever-haunting Hollow, the super heavy Phantom Limb and the strangely beautiful ballad (?) Hung On A Hook.

Those three songs were still playing in my head on Friday while I was travelling to the big city, probably because I had spent the entire day with them stuck on repeat. And I still wanted more.

And they didn't want to leave me alone either.

I was destined to meet them yet again, during my usual visit to the record store. As soon as I walked into the 'Hard Rock' department, I saw it. We were meeting in the physical world for the first time. And there it was, staring at me from its five slots on the privileged top shelf, with its bright red almost satanic cover, and that creepy dinosaur skull on the front. Lord, the temptation was so big...

But I didn't do it.

"You don't even like it 'that' much", said that stupid voice in my head. "It's only those three songs you sort of fancy."

And so I walked away. Just like that.

How stupid, heh?

I started regretting it as soon as I got home the next day and gave the album another spin.

Because Alice In Chains ARE awesome after all... even if it's taken me so long to get to know them for real.

They have everything I love about grunge music, taken to its finest extreme. They are much more subtle and skilled than Nirvana ever were (which doesn't mean I don't enjoy listening to Nevermind every once in a while), and they're also much heavier. They've really had a hand for guitar sounds since their early years, and it's only grown better with time.

The crystaline transparence of the mix of Dinosaurs is only comparable to the masterful production of Depeche Mode's Delta Machine, and, just like the latter does with electronics, Dinosaurs sort of makes every other guitar album sound obsolete: distorted guitars dense and well-oiled like butter; acoustic guitars that ring like bells; bass roaring like a furious gang of bikers; drums bouncing like basketballs; mix clean and loud like digital; crisp and dirty like analog... THAT's my concept of what a record should sound like... and I hadn't seen such a brilliant example of it ever since KISS released Monster back in 2012.

Freaking awesome.

And then there's the songwriting I overlooked so badly at first (I'm not even sure why).

Despite the first impression you might get from Hollow, you should know that Alice In Chains are not THAT creepy all the time. Hollow is, in fact, a pretty unique song in their catalog. That's probably one of the things that make it so special.

Dinosaurs is quite abundant in more uplifting grunge/Americana mid-tempo songs that go through a wide variety of moods. And, of course, there is a great deal of killer riffing too. But nothing gets quite as dark as the album opener, if that makes you feel better LOL

A couple of songs (like the aforementioned Hung On A Hook) could be called ballads... sort of.

But, even at their poppiest, Alice In Chains never cross the Dave Grohl barrier of indignity, like so many other grunge and post-grunge bands do. And, even when their songwriting gets dangerously close to Americana, they always have that unexpected chord change that shifts the course of the song in a brand new direction (see Scalpel); that mesmerizing guitar solo (see Low Ceiling... and every song on the album), and they DO use fancy guitar effects a lot <3... They are surprisingly good at crafting ambient sounds, and they also have a talent for melodies outside of the tritone doom metal area they don't often get credited for.

If the members of the band formerly known as Tokio Hotel ever have a future, I hope this is the sonic path they are reborn into.

And then there's William DuVall. Even though I wasn't a fan of his vocals (well, in fact it's a bit inaccurate to call them his vocals, since he and Jerry Cantrell are singing in harmony most of the time) at first, I've grown to appreciate them a great deal... as well as the man himself. In fact, I have to admit I like him more than the band's original (and deceased) vocalist Layne Staley (AIC purists, shoot me now). I know this probably makes me a racist, but I have a strange fascination for black men who play in rock bands (probably because it's a pretty rare phenomenon). I had the same thing with Sepultura's Derrick Green, and even with King's X's Doug Pinnick (which reminds me I should give their self-titled album another chance...). And there was also that man... the one with the guitar... what was his name again? Oh, yeah, right, I think it was something like 'Jimi Hendrix' LOL (In case you're wondering - no, this does absolutely NOT extend to Lenny Kravitz).

By the way, did I mention that DuVall plays rhythm guitar too? Heh. Heh. Heh.

So, yeah, the fact of having a black singer (and rhythm guitarrist) on board is a big plus for me. But don't worry... I like a lot of white rock musicians too! LOL Especially Germans ;)

Talking about white musicians - it was fun to discover that James Hetfield actually considers himself a fan of Alice In Chains. Usually, I don't rely too much on my idols' musical tastes because you never know what you can find in there *ahem*, but, in this case, having James Hetfield's appoval sort of makes me feel supported in this new adventure. After all, Alice In Chains might have had a role in shaping Metallica's mid-90s sound... How cool is that? :D

Now that Hollow no longer feels like a menacing stranger, but rather like a friend I love spending time with, I've had the chance to appreciate what a masterpiece of songwriting and guitar work it really is.

The entire song is actually based on just four guitar riffs, tuned really, really low (just the way I like it :D), and yet it's a symphony of masterfully crafted guitar sounds - thousands of them - so delicately entwined with the rhythm guitar and the vocals it's often hard to even understand where they are... or how many of them are there for real. William DuVall and Jerry Cantrell (lead guitarrist, other lead singer, primary songwriter and only blond in the band) create an incredibly complex atmosphere of guitar sounds that serves as the soul to the rhythm guitar's muscle (honestly, I'm not even sure about who plays what LOL), and yet feels completely unintrusive. The truth is I was pretty sure they were using synths at first... until I realized they weren't.

Even the guitar solo in Hollow is subtle. In fact, it's sort of played in the back, while the heavy riffing takes center stage... and, man, that solo is pure evil :D

The secret to the song's sinister monotonous yet unstable limping groove probably resides in its curious 6/4 size. It only shifts back to the traditional 4/4 during the two choruses - which makes the mood change even more intense. When those power chords finally storm in, it feels like Hell is breaking lose right upon you... and yet there is a certain degree of relief in it.

But you won't get any of that stuff until you turn up the volume... which, in my case, turned out to be a problem, because the mix that got played on TV was barely audible (same thing happened with Depeche Mode's Heaven, BTW), and, at that volume, all you get to hear is a creepy monotonous mess.

Such an injustice for such a magnifficent song. Thank God it's never too late to ammend it :)

...Or perhaps I should thank the Devil for putting dinosaurs here in the first place? ;)


The only important thing now is that, the next time I walk into that record store, this album is coming with me. Period.

Until then, I'll have to rely on Spotify, YouTube and the shitty Spotify mobile shuffle play.

Thousands of hours of Alice In Chains playing on repeat are already happening.

...And I though I could never fall in love with a band again.

How awesome is that? :D