Ode To The Man Boob

I admit it: I've been a little obsessed with the concept of man boobs lately, but you can't blame me. Not after seeing SyCo's latest achievements in the field of body-building - not to be interpreted in the usual sense of the word, but rather in the literal one.

The image above is the cover of Danzig's classic 1990 album Lucifuge - probably the largest monument to the man boob in modern pop culture. I confess I've been fascinated with this artwork ever since the first time I saw it. I mean... MAN, you literally can't take your eyes off it. The vision of Glenn Danzig's naked chest is magnetic. I know you're supposed to focus on the cross and all of the satanic meanings, but, once you've noticed the man boobs in the background, it becomes impossible to see anything else aside from them ever again.

There is something profoundly disturbing about man boobs. They are probably the only thing compulsive burger-eaters and obsessive body-builders have in common, and, at times, the frontiers between both types of man boob get so blurred it becomes hard to see the difference. I assume Glenn Danzig belongs in the latter category, but only because fat guys rarely chose to expose themselves in such a narcissistic manner.

There is something profoundly disturbing about this pair of man boobs in particular: the thick patch of chest hair; the unabashedly exposed nipples, projecting an ominous elongated shadow upon the ribcage; the fact that, if Glenn Danzig had been a woman, he would have never ever, EVER gotten away with a cover like this...

But that's the funny thing about man boobs: that it is socially acceptable to display them in public without a trace of shame (even when they look way more pornographic and aesthetically questionable than most female chests I know), just because our cultural tradition has established it that way.

Now, isn't THAT fascinating?

...

Long live to the Man Boob! :D