Pumba Loves His Food

Phantom limb on a phantom album from a phantom band.

We are living in the Age of Absurd.

Enjoy it.

Respect Your New Mother

"Dad, that's just a plant."

"Lisa! You will respect your new mother. Now, give her a kiss! KIIIIISS HER!" 

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Benjamin Ebel, ten years from now.

Ebel Put Tokio Hotel Here

I'm God and you don't know

The cloud is my home

Black and white edits

Got a 'maginary band

Ebel put Tokio Hotel here

Bill Kaulitz is a queer

Ebel put Tokio Hotel here

No problem with fans - just fear

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...and that's the story of how Tokio Hotel's management team kept the band undead for more than a year without the direct collaboration of any of its members.

And nobody ever noticed.

There must be some kind of a moral to this story that I'm faliling to understand.

Guess I'll still have plenty of time to think about it before the circus is over.

The thing about Bill being gay is apparently some sort of inside joke they have. I don't really get it, but hey... they call them 'inside jokes' for a reason.

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PS. It should be noted that my photoshop collage was published before Ebel's version. I still think mine is cooler.

L O L

Friday, I'm In Love

"Happy Valentine's Day from Motörhead"

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Never had much appreciation for Love Day until Lemmy shot his arrow of love straight through my heart.

But, of course, Lemms was not alone in the task of spreading love on Valentine's Friday...

Our personal German Cupid (a.k.a. Benjamin Ebel) decided to celebrate his favourite day of the year by hosting another one of his retarded Tokio Hotel Follow Sprees. Well, the concept is not retarded of course - my apologies to Mr. Ebel. The idea is just another brilliant achievement in the field of Nazi-marketing. It's the Aliens (God, how much I detest that name LOL) who are retarded enough to be excited about the thought of being followed by a band that's been non-existent for three years already. Who gives a fuck about them not releasing music (or doing anything at all) as long as they follow YOU on twitter? Girl, that's important.

The good news are that soon there won't be any TH fans left to follow - I guess Ebel will have to start following Beliebers instead, in hopes they'll get converted LOL After all, that's what you do in social networks: you buy people using their own vanity. Making people feel important yields the most unexpected results.

Didn't work too well for Neon Dogs, though ;)

But hey - at least the doggies don't have to spend their mid-twenties connected to a life support machine while a bunch of cynical bastards build creepy Frankensteins with their body parts and tweet retarded shit using their names. 

That's what I call luck.

Happy post-Valentine's day y'all.

It's Saturday, I'm still in love.

When You're In Prison...

When you're in prison, don't turn the other way
Keep your back against the wall

When you're in prison, don't turn the other way
Do not bend at all

Oh don't pick up the soap, pick up the soap
It's bad for you

Oh don't pick up the soap, pick up the soap
Someone will be waiting there for you

When you're in prison be sure to stay awake
Always lie upon your back

When you're in prison be sure to stay awake
Keep you from attack

Oh don't be no one's bitch, be no one's bitch
It's bad for you

Oh don't be no one's bitch, be no one's bitch
They won't help you make it through

When you're in prison, don't turn the other way
Follow what I say to do

When you're in prison, don't turn the other way
You can make it through
You can make it through
You can make it through

[*]

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WTF are you doing, kid?! What the Hell did they teach you at school?!

Whatever happens in your life, you DON'T pull your pants down in front of a 50-year-old black dude (no racial offense intended - I hate white people too) - especially if he happens to be a producer.

You just don't.

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Speaking about life in prison...

Tomorrow is gonna be a really tough day down at the TH camp. The Ebels Inc. are just about carpet bomb Twitter Land with a massive load of fan fiction, and I'd rather stay covered until the shit storm is over.

Hopefully, I'll be too high on Alice to care about whatever those bastards do to the corpse of my beloved band.

They are never gonna win, anyway... so fuck them and the horse they rode in on :)))))

'Happy Holidays from Depeche Mode'

Depeche Mode's official Christmas postcard for 2013. Do I even have to say anything at all? I think not :'D

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I wrote to Benjamin Ebel about a week ago suggesting him to reuse this concept for Tokio Hotel, but I think he was too busy searching the whole internet in hopes to find the hipsterest Christmas greeting available (PS. mission accomplished) to listen to my selfless advice, so, in the end, he just wrote a standard three-sentence 'Merry Christmas' message in their name... without even photoshopping a picture to go with it! Ah... what happened to the good old days, when we got a brand new Photoshop creation EVERY DAY? Gone! They're gone - just like Neon Dogs' future. 

The poor guy(s) overworked themselves to death in the first half of 2013, but there's no problem, because, once again, I've generously volunteered to do the work for them. So, here's my Tokio Hotel Christmas postcard for 2013, 100% free from Photoshop - just like Benjamin Ebel likes it! ;)

Now that's what I call Christmas Spirit! :D

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PS. Christmas Eve wasn't as bad as I expected... pretty much as always. Thanks to the good old music in my Christmas playlist for helping me get through yet another Christmas dinner. And the good thing is now I can go stress-free for almost a week. No planning; no cleaning - just the usual stuff... 

...or perhaps not?